Courtesy ov Lair, thiz newz frum Haaretz.

19:07 PM Sharon on reportz dat Arafat did: We won’t addresz teh mattr til an offishul statement haz been made
18:57 Arafat’z chief ov staff, Ramzi Khoury sayz teh PA Chairman iz in ‘grave condishun’
18:39 French hospital spokesman: Arafat’z medical situashun iz complex, he iz not dead
18:37 Luxembourg Prime Ministr Jean-Claude Junckr sayz PA Chairman Arafat did 15 minutez ago
18:28 Al Arabiyeh: Ahmd Qureia, Mohammd Rashid deny reportz dat Arafat iz clinically dead
18:25 Radio Monte Carlo: Palestinian Authority Chairman Yassr Arafat iz dead
18:14 Radio Monte Carlo: PA Chairman Arafat iz clinically dead; Sourcez in Pariz: Arafat iz dead
17:54 Arafat advisr Nabil Abu Rudeineh: PA Chairman in critical condishun, but not comatose

Nd WND speculatez on whethr Arafat haz AIDS or not. Much speculashun on his bein gay or bi. LOL!!!1!!!1! Teh thought ov anyone doin dat wit him iz ewww grosz. LOL!!!1! LOL!!!1! Gettin off dat, thiz iz startin to be an interestin newz day. Ned I remind peepz I iz not disinterestd in thiz story as I nd many otherz haz Arafat in teh Dead Pool.

A lovely thank u I gotz in mah email, kindof makez for a nice warm feelin right in heart nd in teh electoral college. How sweet, victory. Nd liek mah peepz, I wud nevr gloat. There iz a certain irony in it all which hasn’t gone unnoticd.