A guide to watching his show while eating ChexMix(tm). Works also with the mute button on.

With one guest:

Bill O’Reilly: *argue* *argue* *argue* *attack* *attack* *attack* *argue* *argue* *argue*

Guest: *defend* *defend* *defend* *argue* *argue* *argue* *defend* *defend* *defend*

With two guests:

Bill O’Reilly: *argue* *argue* *argue* *attack* *attack* *attack* *argue* *argue* *argue*

Guest A: *attack* *attack* *attack* *defend* *defend* *defend* *argue* *argue* *argue*

Guest B: *defend* *defend* *defend* *attack* *attack* *attack* *argue* *argue* *argue*

With Ann Coulter:

*catfight*

Lair tackles waterfalls of blood and other stuff Al Qaida likes to threaten us with. However, they can’t match the terrorist that shut down part of the power grid here. To quote the West Valley View:

Thanks to eyewitnesses and videotape, investigators have identified the fly-by-night culprit whose destructive payload shut down the Palo Verde Nuclear Plant last month - causing power outages across the western states and all the way to Alberta, Canada.

Oh, yes. Investigators have identified the payload, too: Bird dung.

Lots of it. From a very large bird.

Totally shut down the Palo Verde Nuclear Plant, think of it the biggest nuclear plant in the country was shut down by a pile of bird crap. Al Qaida can’t stand a candle to a steaming pile of bird shit.

Lest that be a bit too unnatural, all that is needed to start a forest fire is a match. That may be beyond Al Qaida’s reach as they may not be able to think outside the box (cutters).

My day got worse. Some time back I blogged bout them LoJacking the staff, well all our badges are going to get chipped. They don’t trust anyone. And the announcement came at the most unfortunate timing, after the union had called off the vote. If we all knew they were going to monitor us like WalMart employees, the union would have been voted in for sure.

Back to kid’s sucky day, she called in the wee hours to finish the day off, her car had been broken into and her holster with lotions (for the massages) and a few CD’s were stolen, window was broken. Rest of the CD’s were still in the car.

Waiting to see, since she hasn’t come home, whether with a broken window, someone doesn’t carjack the car or at least steal the rest of the CD’s if she left them in the car. Temptation is there.

Now she isn’t the only one to have a bad day. Read PoliPundit, JB Corrigan and Junto Boyz. Lurch would have been more entertaining than this stiff. Glad I decided to skip the speech. Many thanks to Bill O’Reilly for warning me.