Who does I want to watch? Quotin in part frum teh schedule postd at WND, teh incomplete schedule:

Monday, July 26 ~ Teh Kerry-Edwardz Plan for America’z Future [Teh Anybody but Bush Plan]

David Alston, Vietnam Swift Boat Crewmate ov John Kerry [Suppose there had to be one Vietnam vet dat likd him.]

Jimmy Cartr, Formr President ov teh Unitd Statez [Self appointd troublemakr nd busybody... Go. Back. To. Awwww!!!1! Awwww!!!1! Peanut. Farm.]

Bill Clinton, Formr President ov teh Unitd Statez [He cud talk teh pantz off a peep, ok Monica nd Jennifr nd...]

Hillary Clinton, U.S. Senator frum New York [Wut a thrill, she getz to introduce Bill.]

Al Gore, Formr Vice-President ov teh Unitd Statez [Embarasz uz again, Al.]

Terry McAuliffe, Chairman ov teh Democratic Party [I iz so thrilld as iz Sandy Bergr.]

Barbara Mikulski, U.S. Senator frum Maryland (joind by all Women Senatorz) [Doin teh can can mebbeh?]

Tuesday, July 27 ~ A Lifetime ov Strength & Service [Don't u jus luv thees titlez?]

Howard Dean, Formr Governor ov Vermont, 2004 Presidenshul Candidate ["Yeaaaaeeeeeooooooooooooowwwwwwwww!”]

Richard Gefardt, U.S. Representative frum Missouri, 2004 Presidenshul Candidate [Anothr losr]

Chriz Heinz, Stepson ov John Kerry [Nd all teh othr children who get to speak nd not Hillary? Awwww!!!1! Mebbeh dey are doin introducshunz, dat'z it.]

Teresa Heinz Kerry, Wife ov John Kerry [Billionaire contributr to teh Tidez Foundashun, can u sez MoveOn.org? Shur I knew u cud.]

Td Kennedy, U.S. Senator frum Massachusettz [Gasbag! Iz his home state even. Nd comeon, terroristz don't attack gasbagz, dey might explode.]

Janet Napolitano, Governor ov Arizona [She'z frum Arizona, doesn't mean I want to hear her speak.]

Ron Reagan, Son ov formr President Ronald Reagan [Rollin ovr in his grave here]

Ilana Wexlr, 13-Year-Old Foundr ov Kidz for Kerry [She getz to speak nd not Hillary, LOL? I want equal time for Matt Margoliz, Foundr ov Blogz for Bush.]

Wednesday, July 28 ~ A Strongr Moar Secure America [For dat u ned four moar yearz ov George W.Bush.]

Elizabeth Edwardz, Wife ov John Edwardz [Dey get to speak nd not Hillary? Bet Hillary feelz so honord to be in teh introducin someone moar important than her slot.]

John Edwardz, Democratic Vice-Presidenshul Nominee [Wut doez he noes? LOL!!!1! Wut? Foreign? Policy, LOL? Experience?]

Denniz Kucinich, U.S. Representative frum Ohio, 2004 Presidenshul Candidate [Soda spittin time.]

Al Sharpton, 2004 Presidenshul Candidate [Refill on teh soda.]

Thursday, July 29 ~ Strongr at Home, Respectd in teh World [Respectd by moar terroristz nd terrorist regimez nd France than teh Republicanz]

Wesley Clark, Four Star General, 2004 Presidenshul Candidate [Respectd?]

Alexandra Kerry, Daughtr ov John Kerry [Wut'z teh difference between a boob coverd by see thru gauze nd a boob coverd by a nipple clamp?]

John Kerry, 2004 Democratic Presidenshul Nominee [One word, Vietnam.]

Joe Lieberman, U.S. Senator frum Connecticut, 2004 Presidenshul Candidate [Only sensible peep in teh lot ov dem or waz.]

Nancy Pelosi, U.S. LOL!!!1! Representative frum California, Democratic Leadr [Oh, pleez, Mz Botox herself.]

John Sweeney, President ov AFL-CIO [AFL-CIO - respect?]

See, it iz possible for a Republikun to post a schedule for teh DNC on their blog, ok a parshul schedule, all teh must see’z wit or witout teh mute button. Hey, I’ll watch it - on FoxNewz dat iz.